Last week, I talked about how mindfulness is the practice that makes time for itself. Which is all well and good once you have an established practice. But for many people, establishing a consistent practice is the hardest step. Maybe you’re completely committed for a few weeks and then...well...grades and comments are due, or your sister has a baby, or your parents get sick. And your practice takes a back seat to something more pressing. All that momentum and all those good intentions...poof. I know it takes a herculean effort to carve out that space sometimes, so here are tips for sustaining your practice over time, even when you’ve been chosen by NASA to be the next teacher in space, and your whole routine is upended.
1. Do it at the same time, and in the same place, every day. I’m not exactly sure why this matters, but it seems to help my body settle if it’s doing something familiar. Something kicks in, and my body’s like, “Oh, it’s time to meditate now. Chill.” Several years ago, when I lived in Japan without central heat in my little apartment, I noticed that my hands would warm up every night when I started meditating. As I relaxed, my circulation improved. Eventually, that started happening whether I was meditating or not. Think of this as Pavlovian meditating. And although a relaxed body doesn’t always lead to a relaxed mind, it can certainly help.
2. Use some sort of ritual to get started. Maybe a bell or chime to ease you into the meditation. Or a little phrase that can focus your attention. I’ll often use this sequence of phrases to start: Clear Mind, Open Heart, Wise Action. I say each one for the cycle of one full breath. If it gets stale, I’ll give it a break for awhile and then come back to it when it’s fresh again. You can find different phrases that work for you. Play with it until you find something that resonates. Whatever it is, having some sort of ritual is just another signal to your body and mind that it’s doing something familiar, actuating all those neural pathways that you’ve been habituating.
3. Identify barriers. What’s stopping you? Do you drift off every night in the middle of your practice? Try the morning. Back aching? Try sitting in a chair or a different position. Eventually, you might want to try sitting through the discomfort, but take small steps; you don’t have to become a yogi overnight.
4. Seek inspiration. There are many places to go for this. You could check out the Resources page on this website for books, podcasts, and retreats that can expand your practice. Or find a local group to practice with. Ultimately, the seeds of your practice reside within you, but it doesn’t hurt to water them with some external guidance. To go really deep, you’ll likely have to work with someone far more experienced than you anyway. Finding that balance between inner work and outer inspiration is tricky; you want to be rooted, but not in a rut.
5. Finally, be kind to yourself. This one might be the most important. I was leading my class in a practice this morning, and my attention was all over the place. Afterward, I asked my students if they experienced something similar. A few of them raised their hands. Awesome! It’s important to recognize that you’re not always at the top of your mindfulness game. Just like athletes have practices that feel more productive, or times when they’re more in the flow, so do meditators. We accept it all in the name of growth. A “bad” practice might be when we learn the most, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. So when your inner critic kicks in and says you’re no good at what you’re doing, just nod your head, acknowledge that you’re not exactly in the flow, and recognize that it’s all part of the cycle of growth. Sit with that feeling of unsettledness and see if anything emerges from it. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. The point is that you don’t judge yourself too harshly. You just keep practicing, knowing that some days are better than others.
Let’s try a practice now where we work through some of these steps.
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